Would you let a stranger touch your testicles?
No? Well, you’d better go through that scanner then.
The Transportation Security Administration has turned to molestation to get people to submit to a scan. We’re surely reaching bottom here. The TSA most certainly is.
Taking the logical step of “you want to do what to my balls?” the TSA has made the aim of pat down searches touching your genitals rather than finding anything dangerous to the public. It’s supposed to encourage you to go through the backscatter scanner and have yourself photographed naked – I damn well bet it does. I’ve not felt comfortable going through airport security since I was groped by a security checker and I assume that was just a dirty old man who was a bit keen and that touching underage boys wasn’t the whole point of his job. Apparently that’s going to change in the US.
Luckily, and I mean that from the very bottom of my soul, the UK airlines have finally started to call the USA on its ridiculous “security” policies and hopefully this sick, criminal act won’t come into our airports.
But, seriously, there is nothing in America that is so worth seeing you should put yourself through this.
“Yes, but starting tomorrow, we’re going to start searching your crotchal area”—this is the word he used, “crotchal”—”and you’re not going to like it.”
“What am I not going to like?” I asked.
“We have to search up your thighs and between your legs until we meet resistance,” he explained.
“Resistance?” I asked.
“Your testicles,” he explained.
‘That’s funny,” I said, “because ‘The Resistance’ is the actual name I’ve given to my testicles.”
That’s as funny as this outrage gets. Thank god even they know they wouldn’t get away with cavity searching everyone (the only reason they have for not doing it is that they’re not allowed).